And I have been selfish. How many of you, who are into professions even remotely related to the communications or media have known this selfish phase?
It happened some months ago that I began using the security of pen and paper instead of the instant online gratification of blogging. I began doing this after many great sentences and ideas vanished with the fumes of traffic for not having something to jot them down on.
With time, I had a huge collection of items 150-200 words each. These pieces, which I consider some of my best thoughts, now smell in the yellowing pages of a small little diary. Nothing wrong, some of you may say, the old-fashioned diary/letters is far more romantic. But I thought I am being selfish when I said, 'No, this is not for the blog, preserve this for better times.'
There are big minus points of saving your words like a squirrel who stores nuts for the winter. She can hope to relax like a queen in the future, but the present is incessant legwork, no?
A diary is alright when it comes to prose. But it is much more difficult to keep poems locked in bound pages. Most of the poems I have here on my blog are impromptu inspirations, thought and penned from start to the end on the blog itself — Why Do We, for example. With such fluid dialogue possible on the blog, accumulating my thoughts on paper and imposing an incommunicado on them is like having a stomachache due to a deep dark secret you have been burdened with.
I remember having written a post on why I blog. Apart from getting the pleasure to write and improve my skill, the biggest reason was having a readership that is open to a dialogue, is receptive of my ideas. When I wrote that post, I didn't even have half the readers I have now.
Today, some readers can gauge even the slightest of discomfort in my words. There are people who say beautiful deep words of promise without knowing that they lift me up. From my blog, I have known the joy of associating with frank, like-minded people who are not afraid to disagree.
So, being selective with my writing on this space, my blog that has nurtured and humbled me for more than four years now and with people who take time out for me, makes me wonder if I am being selfish.
Tell me, have you ever indulged in selective blogging?
