Tuesday, September 03, 2013



There's a certain amount of restlessness brewing up. An uneasy feeling takes over when you feel something big is going to happen, or that it's about time things change and something big happens, or rather that things don't change at all and instead tread back into time and freeze exactly at those moments you decide.


There's also a certain calm. Strange, that it can coexist with restlessness. But there is a realization that whether things change or not, for good or better, the status quo is quite pleasant and that life at this point is such that many may envy.

Every year, there is a certain month and a certain date that creeps up suddenly from behind you and demands a ledger of your life till then. It is on days preceding such dates that you get into a solemn state of mind, curb your jokes and randomness, those  smiles, and everything else that you do to hide your old hurt and wounded self from the world. Most of the times these remedies work.

And when they don't, you snuggle up to your father, or your cat, or imagine a love that could be. Even as you imagine, you remeber to thank God that everything is just the way it is, not an inch better, not an inch worse.

It is the present that is the most mysterious and the most giving; a strange mix of calm and restlessness and I wouldn't want it any other way.