I forgot to light a candle

Many a love die
But what a way to die...
Many a love fade,
But what a way to fade...

I forgot to light a candle today
For a man who once loved.
His name was Rizwanur
He died the other day...

I didn't know him, no.
And neither would I have had;
Had he not loved the way he did-
Or died the way he died.

It's all over the papers, you know
They make it sound pretty sad.
His death on the tracks;
His widow and all...

I forgot to light a candle today
For a man who once loved...
His name was Rizwanur,
He died the other day...

(I appreciate all your comments.
Please click on the title (I forgot to light a candle) above
This link has an article with details of the Rizwanur case.
I like poems with their abstractness intact.)

The Smoke of Life

Smoke withered away from sand the other day
from a wasted cigarette butt.
The stick was living its last breath,
Living as much it could, as much it must...

Smoke flew towards the right,
Slowly waking up from the sand
It crawled a bit in circles
And then flew up the land.

Little symbols of life-
Just living, Just gone away
glimpse at us from time to time,
Like that cigarette butt breathing its last day...

- Gauri Gharpure

Caring for pets

With a childhood full of raising almost all kinds of animals from a magnificient german shephard bitch and a flock of lively hens, to caring for injured or abandoned baby squirrels, baby peacocks, etc, learning to cope with the loss of an animal is something I have slowly aquired. But it's difficult all the same, everytime.

So let me use this blog to write whatever I know about caring for Budgrigars, Lovebirds and Beta Fighter fishes- as these are my current pets...

Budgrigars



These are very delicate little birds, orginally found in the deserts of Australia... They come in numerous colours from canary yellow, to lemon green, sky blue, yellowish-blue, white/cream, etc. Also, these are more easily bred as compared to lovebirds.

But caring for these is quite a task, as I have now come to know...

The veternary doc prescribed to give each bird a drop of Visceryl Vitamin drops everyday. For the youngest of all- 'Chhotu' who was feathering and had some minor skin infection, the doc prescribed the following remedy:

1 portion finely ground naphthalene ball
1 portion (same as that quantity of ground naphthalene) of boric acid powder
Mix both these portions thoroughly.
Now add 4 portions* (*portions equal to the quantity of the mixed naphthalene and boric acid powders this time) normal talcum powder.
Mix well and store in a clean bottle.

Dust the affected area with this powder once a day till the skin infection is under control.

I was also asked to de-worm each bird, and then repeat the same dose of one drop each after eighteen days.

My father, who himself bred a lot of budgerigars when I really very small to understand these nitty-gritties, was a bit skeptical about the de-worm step. His resistance was correct, as dogs pups are bound to get a bit weak after a de-worm dose.

Well, nothing happened to my birds after the first dose, but one adult male suddenly died two days after the second de-worm dose after 18 days. The only anomaly I had noticed about him was he didnt feed in the morning as all birds do. But these are very moody birds, so I assumed it was one of his mood swings..If this was related or not, the vet didn't confirm.

One day after the death of this adult, another young died suddenly.

When I say sudenly, I mean suddenly! These birds act perfectly normal just minutes before they fall down and start weakening up.

And so, today was the final blow- death of the youngest and most charming bird I called 'Chhotu'. He had an extremely unique red colour marking on his forehead, which I had not yet seen in a budgrigar...

Lovebirds




I have the 'rosy faced' pair now. With now, I mean that two beautiful green lovebirds' pair actually 'escaped' out of the cage. Yes, they escaped. I am damn sure I had closed the cage the night before.

The thing is, these are extremely inquisitive, curious and hyper-active birds. Their beaks are ever poking in anything new and anything that can move. They push around the food cups, empty the water cups and yes, I saw them experimenting with the bolting hook too. But I didnt actually think they would be able to open it and hop out. But hop out they did... And vanished into thin air much before my husband's eyes.

So one big lesson learnt- Tie the hook with a string to make sure these silly creatures don't fly away to their doom.

Another lesson which I learnt much earlier as a child was never to get carried away by emotions and 'free' a small sized caged bird. My father explained, and now I know he was right, that such delicate birds like Budgrigars and Lovebirds are almost entirely bred in captivity, having lived in cages all their life. They can't thus fly a lot. At the most they will zoom somewhere in full speed and fumble without finding a good perch. Moreover, not being native, scared and lost, these are easy preys for kites, even crows for that matter who are normally scavengers...

If the bird is tame enough and if you can aptly handle the bird, i.e. catch it again and all, you may let it fly in a room, with all doors and fans closed.

About the 'Rosy-faced' pair which chose not to hop out of the open cage. Well... it's the most charming twosome I have ever laid my eyes on. These are hopelessly silly and ever squeaking birds, a joy to behold... I thought the cage was getting a bit dull, so I hung the two wooden circles of an embroidery ring with a string in the cage.



In less than two hours, the most curious one was happily swinging away... Each bird has its own unique personality and will take his own sweet time to try a new toy. Like, even though the rosy male started using the ring on the first day itself, the female took more than a week to accompany him on the ride...

Siamese Beta Fighters

I have two beatiful males. (The females are drab, not as attractively coloured, and as a rule never put on sale in most pet shops)



This fish is excellent for beginners, or for those who have less time on hands... It's a very sturdy fish and will deman minimum possible attention from you. What's more, with the beautiful colours it comes in, just seeing this pet gliding gracefully in the bowl is almost as good as a trip to the spa after a long day...

So as I said, this is one super low maintanance fish... Lets see what one has to do to keep it healthy and happy...

It will thrive in a medium sized bowl, but as is with all bird habitats, the bigger the better.

Before buying the bowl, ensure it does not have any crack or small leaks. Make the shop owner fill the bowl and hold it up for a while, to check if any water trickles out.

Clean the bowl regularly, and once thouroughly before introducing the fish from the polythene bag.

Fix two days in a week, say Wednesday and Sunday, and try to stick to the schedule you have maintained.

Take a clean empty bathroom mug. Carefully fill it up with the water already in the bowl.

Gently catch the fish in your hands, dont ever press too hard, and release it slowly in a mug.

A word of caution- Dont fill the mug to its brim and keep it in your view while cleaning the bowl. I had a fright of my life one fine day when i shifted my two fighters- Chhotu (again, chhotu the fish this time) and motu in two mugs, kept these near the centre table and went in the kitchen to clean the bowls...

On coming back, I saw this wrinkled blue thing lying near the tv, almost 3 feet away from the mug. In a moment, tht 'thing' started jumping. I had a hard time to react in an instant, to transfer the silly new fish-motu in the mug.

I have no idea how long it was out in this manner. Why this fish survived is because it belongs to a family, which has special accessory breathing organs called 'labyrinthine organs'. These help them to stay in oxygen deficient conditions quite easily, like their natural habitat of water-filled paddy fields in Thailand. I take extra care of 'Motu' now, after his out of the bowl escapade.

Clean the bowl thoroughly, scrub well, using a mild soap will do. Just make sure to wash the bowl again well, free of any remaining soap, for it might alter the Ph of the water..

Add one day old water, preferably aquaguard or any drinking water you normally use. (Not mineral water though)

Always retain one quarter of the old water and add three quarters of one old day water. Never change the water completely. It might kill your fish.



When the fish is new, you may use this treatment for the first two-three water changes:
Take potassium permanganate, quantity stricty a quarter of a mustard seed in a mugful of water. Leave the fish in this mug for a few seconds, say 10-20 seconds, or even less. Catch it and release immediately in the bowl of fresh water. Potassium permangate is very effective for fungal or other such skin infections, for the general glow of the skin, but a little more can be lethal. So be very cautious with this treatment.

Once a female fighter had a strange, mysterious and potentially disastrous symptom: The water turned a definite yellow, very clear, but a little more dense than usual in record time. I frantically called up a guy who I was told kept a lot of aquariums. He heard the symptoms as i described and told me to change the water completely, for a change! He asked to add warm water (Hottish warm, but not hot) and then sprinkle a pinch of salt over the fish wherever it moved for a few seconds. I did as I was told, although in hearts of my heart, I had lost all hope. But this female miraculously reacted to the treatment and went on to live healthily for a long time afterwards...

With food, be as miserly as you can. Don't give in to the temptations of throwing extra munches. Over feeding is most defintely lethal, under feeding is not. Ideally give in only about 0.1 cm or 0.2 cm at the max for full-grown males of the dried tubifix cubes each day. I feed my fighters only once a day and they seem to be literally thriving. Keep the dried tubifix cubes, or any other readymade pellets that you buy in an air-tight bottle. Do not let it get moist in any case. Ideally, once small pack should last more than a month at the least. If you live in a bunglow, dig up some fertile soil for baby earthworms (light pink, 2 cm to 3 cm long worms with a moist, shiny body), clean them well and throw live in the bowl. See your Fighter devour them in a jiffy. They will be very healthy if fed live food once in a while.
P.S- Search for earthworms only if you know well enough what to find and can identify earthworms from other worms with good confidence!

These fish have a great personality. Introduing any play toy may be a good idea, but the toy should not be dangerous in anyway, i.e. with sharp ends, soluble in water, etc. I put a beautiful purple orchid flower in the bowl once and it was delightful to see 'Chhotu' the fish poke it curiously for hours at end, gliding below it from time to time and seeing it from all angles. However, be careful with the showy stones the aquarium owner may give you along with the fish and the bowl. The stones I had introduced in the bowl began to deposit calcium carbonate or some such substance in a day, which my husband noticed... I had to remove the stones carefully, clean the bowl thoroughly again and wait and watch with crossed fingers to see if any Ph change had affected the fish. Fortunately, 'Chhotu' was as healthy as ever...

Hmmm... That's all I have the energy now to share with you...
Have a Happy Pet Experience...

-Gauri Gharpure, Sep 15 '2007

Two minute snacks

Food is something that can lift me out of the gloomiest of my moods. Food and sleep. But let's talk about food for a while...

Here are some super-quick snacks, ideal for hostelites or late-night munching on...

1) Cream-cracker sandwiches

Simply open two britannia cheese slices and place them in between three cream-crackers. A truly rocking combo!!!
However, you need not be as greedy, be content with one slice for two biscuits and have mercy on your tummy...

2) Tel, mithu, marchu ane mamra

Though I am now settled in the land of 'Jhaal muri' the taste of this simple late-night snack just refuses to fade... Four of us cousins, me and my elder sister Vaidehi, Ravija and Belu would stay up late at nights before Uttrayan or just any other get-together and whip up this superfast snack the moment we felt hungry.

It's as simple as this: Take a handful of mamra (muri), add a pinch of salt, lots of red chilli powder and a spoonful of raw groundnut oil. Mix well and eat. Tastes great with a garnising of onion or tomato, but then, that would be more than two minutes, so chuck that.

3) Doodh-paua

In Gujarati, a small child begining to play an ambitious game of cards or such alike is refered to secretly as 'Dhoodh paua'. My father often used to placate my elder sister with a wink of his eye when I insisted to play with her friend circle on my own terms... You ignore the 'Dhoodh paua'player no matter what cheating he does and give him chances to play no matter how many times he gets 'out'. I can only imagine now how frustrating my 'dhoodh paua' status must have been to Vaidehi then...

Anyway, 'Doodh-paua' has now become my fond snack, after being an in-house family term used to fool me ages ago. This one is great for those with a sweet tooth.

Take a handful of paua (poha or cheera) and soak it in a cup of water for a minute. Drain the water well, add a cup of cold milk and some sugar. Throw in some raisins and nuts if they can be easily found, and lo! your 2 minute sweet dish is ready to eat. That's doodh paua in the real 'foodie' term...

Let me know how you liked these two-minute snacks...

-Gauri Gharpure

It's that time of being

It's that time of being
When nothing's in my hands
No thoughts listen to me
No dreams stand by my side.

It's that time of being
That all is well
Yet all is in shambles;
No thoughts listen to me.

It's that time of my being
That memories insist to stay,
The present begins to fade,
The past has begun to take shape...

It's that time of my being.

-Gauri

To meet ol' friends

To meet ol' friends
You need no introduction,
No elaborate parties,
No reasons, no celebrations...

Just a cup of tea
And so it be.
Lots of laughter
And memories...

To meet ol' friends
You need no clothes new,
No perfume, no jewellery
Just your smile will do...

To meet ol' friends
You need nothing else,
All you need to do;
Is your being You.

What teachers teach...

It seems that the one person who never really grows old is a teacher. In the company of his students, a real teacher never loses the pace of time, he always remains youthful in his thoughts and attitude towards life.

This species of human profession is most easily the one to be long remembered with deep gratitude and fondness. Everyone has a corner of reverence reserved in his heart for some special teacher. Here are a few golden words from my most beloved teachers…

“No matter what, love your students”, said Fr. John Joseph Morondo, the most lovable septuagenarian teacher of our high school.
“Some (students) might be naughty and some might be outright irritating, but no matter what, you should learn to love them all” answered Fr. Morondo when asked what he thought a good teacher should be like.
His way of teaching was passé any description- he drew and explained biology diagrams with the most obscure similies. Our favourite was when he likened a typical nucleated animal cell after drawing a largish cuboid with a circle inside- to a ‘washing machine’. His classes were pure, simple biology taught in the most direct and lighthearted manner…



Read, Read and Read More said Ishwarbhai Patel. He taught mathematics, but as is the wont of all good teachers, this septuagenarian taught his students much more than numbers.
He implored us to develop a solid reading habit and urged us to read: anything and everything from newspapers, magazines, literature to general knowledge. ‘The more you read, the more you grow’ was his motto.

Learn to say ‘I Don’t Know’ said Joseph Pinto, our editing professor. He was a taskmaster and scoring anything above six in his tests seemed a feat. He took the ‘I Don’t Know’ rule very seriously and promised us to give half a mark on each IDK in the answer sheet rather than we beat round the bush and ‘make silly stories’.
‘You either know, or you don’t know. There are no two ways about it.’, thundered Prof Pinto and how we still fondly remember that growl…

“Have a cold shower”, said Rajendrasinh Jadeja, Camp Coordinator at the wildlife camps we went with him. ‘Cold showers shake of your sleep instantly’, he said. Hot water baths were a strict ‘no-no’ on his list and he supplemented his dislike for a hot splurging luxury by adding ‘It only makes you sluggish.’
Discipline was a way of life for this nature-lover and he saw to it that for the little while that we were at the camp, we stopped being the spoilt brats we were and adhered to a well-chalked out daily schedule.

“Respect food” urges my seventy-nine year old grandmother as often as she can. Aaji, herself a teacher by profession, taught unaccountable number of things- the foremost being respecting food. She insists that any kind of wastage of food is simply unacceptable- given the thousands of those who starve each day in spite of toiling hard in our country.

By Gauri Gharpure

A bookmark

I had once made a bookmark
Out of pink bougainvillea leaves
I wonder where it is now,
And if it still lives.

If it lies forgotten in books
Or if it still marks a page,
Whether the pink has faded to yellow
But if the memory still stays.

I wonder who has it now
Or rather, who hasn’t
I had made a bookmark once,
Out of pink bougainvillea leaves…

September 2, 2007



-Gauri Gharpure

Celebration

I will cook tonight,
All your favourite dishes.
A long drive after that, may be?
Or whatever you say, we will...

Say Cheers, Dear...
Or even if you dont, I will.
Dont be modest, don't you underplay it
(Still, whatever you say, we will...)

I won't nag tonight
(If I say I won't, I will!)
It's time to celebrate, isn't it,
So whatever you say, we will...

Let's make new memories
And let the old ones fade
Let's celebrate tonight,
Each being the other's reason...

A Chocolate cake?
But you don't like sweets...
Ah! I know what,
Veg Frankies and Cheese!

Let's begin the journey again,
The way we did (Remember Feb the 24th?)
A long drive, may be?
Or whatever you say, we will...

The Sycophant Circle

What has the classroom become like?

Simply put, it has become a venting machine of sorts for them to come and puke out their frustrations and inaccomplishments. They call this teaching...

The process boils up to be a personal vendetta table, where you cross each name which begs to differ. It's an opinionated hierarchy. But mind you- the opinions can arise only from one side of the room, any idea arising from a bench- however genuine it may be cannot hold grounds against the table on which the attendance sheet lies...

There's no space for discussions, arguments, there's no space for a difference of opinion. Often the teacher will go round and round a topic, criticising students for their answers till he himself produces his 'right stream of thought'. Was all the prodding merely an exercise of ego-satisfaction? An exercise in which students are tended like a flock of sheep, expected to walk on pre-decided terrains and think only on those lines which the professor thinks right? Today, education has become more or less a passive exercise- questions are not entertained, unless they are the sort of questions which the teacher can answer...

And then there's this Sycophant Circle...

It's a gathering of ambitious wannabe intellectuals who have just about started preening their down feathers and dream big to fly the same dictatorial regimes like their well-chosen idols...

Classrooms have turned into the battlegrounds of bureaucracy, the centre of attention of any educational institution is invariably a dingy canteen, the centre of affection the canteen staff, which doesn't feign hypocrisy while providing low quality food for high rates. They cheat with a sense of open dignity. That's why they win our affection.

Education?! It's cheating all the way through under the mask of pseudo intellectualism...

Bheja Fry....

Bheja Fry is actually therapeutic! It can leave a rib-tickling sense of pleasure long after you have left the movie hall...

The witty storyline revolves around the perverse tendencies of human nature and takes a hilarious turn when our perverse, rich businessman Ranjeet Thadani (Rajat Kapoor) comes across an uncanny 'bakra' for his weekly friday parties.

And then he breaks his back, thanks to which the audience can enjoy Bharat Bhushan (Vinay Pathak), the 'bakra' in his unrestrained lyrical and comical and bhojpuri glory...

Bheja Fry, to put it in the most understated terms is a humourous delight.

To describe the comic nature of this movie is albiet tricky...The sheer purity of humour in Bheja Fry lies in the subtle and keen observations of daily life transformed with utmost skill on the screen by the story writers, artists and the director. Case in point is the 'It's ringing' alert which Bharat Bhushan insists on giving every time he dials a number and the crackling sound of the red and yellow plastic bag when our when he proudly takes out his scrapbook...

The more or less dark lighting, clever camera angles highlight the tasteful interiors, huge paintings and work to keep the two central characters in focus while also successfully giving a rich look. Somewhere under the wraps of sheer laughter, thanks to the utter incorrigible tendencies of Bharat Bhushan, also lies a trail of irony, sarcasm and misplaced morality directed at the businessman whose marriage suddenly seems all set to break- and the timing couldn't be better!

Thanks to his self-chosen 'idiot', a number of calls to trace his wife lead to a lucid plot, fast and happening and full of punch- bringing on scene a nymphomaniac, his wife's former lover, and an eccentric income tax officer...

Debuntant director Sagar Ballary should get a standing ovation to bring to Indian audiences one rocking movie...

-Gauri Gharpure

Where the road ends...

Evening time, especially on those days when it gets cloudy for no reason at all, seems ideal to allow melancholy to set. And when you let your thoughts loose in such quaint, lonely moments, you are often astonished at the expanse of subjects your mind can brood on...

On many a silent evenings like described above, I pass by frail old men and women and my thoughts find themselves wandering about in many hither-to untreaded terrains...

Some grandpas and grandmas are bent horizontaly from the level of their waist, almost parallel to the street they are advancing on... And then there are old gentlemen who religiously go about their evening strolls irrespective of the unruly traffic and the general self-engrossed buzz of life around them...

On one walk back home, an old man walking in front of me simply fell head straight on the road. He started his efforts to get back to his feet as soon as his nose bit the dust. With some difficutly and a little (politely refused) help, he was standing up again, although a somewhat sheepish, helpless emotion now covered his face.



What was he thinking when he resumed his walk again, I wonder... What does it feel to get old? To know that you are at the end of your existence and to be remined of the fact time and again by such incidences when your faculties start failing you?


It was late one night when we were leaving a restaurant. While we were looking for a rickshaw on the deserted road, we saw this strange figure totally leaning on a bicycle, shakily covering small distances in patches- with small breaks to catch his breathe. He pulled his body and the bicycle in a slow, effortsome manner... When we asked if he was sick and needed some help, he happily started explaining that he was perfectly alright and he was returning from a friend's place after watching his favourite film. He then he described his love for cinema and proceeded to tell us where his residence was. The distance he was to travel to reach home was another three kilometers at the least...

Gloom was definitely not on the mind of this old man, his spirits were livelier and his passion more passionate than even many of my age. His enthusiasm more than made up for his failing body...

My superstitious mind could not help assigning a deeper meaning to this chance meeting with a zealous old man in the middle of night, whose spirit far outweighed the decline of his health. It was one of the best lessons of enthusiasm and independence that I have ever learnt.

The thought of age, rather, the thought process of the aged always leaves me intrigued. Old people walking on busy streets, lonely men and women gathered in parks, or those unfortunate aged who's family seems to have completely forgotten their existence- how do they feel about the prospect of approaching death...

It's a very sensitive topic, but then, don't many old people whom we communicate with have that characterisitic emotion of resignation equalling to something like 'dont discuss the future with me, I may not be there'. They may be the strongest and most talented bunch of people, yet something about their attitude is way too realistic and philosophical to ignore. Actually, it's scarry...

When my aaji laments how her memory has begun to fail her, a painful shudder passes my heart. On the rare moments when that strong lady talks about the future with a sign of resignation and uncertainty, the helplessness we mortals associate with death stares in my face...

Old age is a very sensitive mixture of emotions... An old person should be regarded as a treasure for any household. The experience which comes with years is beyond evaluation. Their health may be failing them and also be a matter of concern for others, but give attention to their thoughts and attitude and you may learn a few important tips to sail the business of living for your entire life. Such is their wisdom.

I only hope all homes which are blessed to have the company of the old realise the significance of what they have- and what through they may soon lose- the wisdom of age...

GauriGC

Love me like you hate me.
For often, hate is more passionate than love...

Gauri GC

A thin layer...

A thin layer shields

Love from lust,

Desire from want

And sin from the sacred.

That clever masquerade

Of good covered up as evil,

And the bad done up as lucrative;

Of pros mingled with cons

And fake draped with genuine…

A thin layer indeed

Of right distanced from wrong.


Gauri GC

March 31’ 2007

Thoughts...

I wish sometimes, if i could live between the illusions of life and dreams, tread the mystical path of the subconscious, and freeze the existence which lingers between living and dying. I wish I could be more awake in my sleep, and bring out the meanings of the bittersweet intercourse I have with my memories, my future and my sorrow...

********
If I were you, you would not hesitate to tell me what you really think of me... That's the way I am... And perhaps that's why you and me don't get along.

****************

Let me be me.
That's the introduction I am most comfortable with.

*******************
Gauri GC
Feb 19, 2007

Thought for the day...

Guard your dreams with ferocity, with passion. Be brutal to those who attempt to scorn at your idiosyncrasies. And stay away from them for good...



-Gauri

S0me more points t0 p0nder...

Hey Nehal,

I appreciate your comment on my post about suicides..(read bel0w)
It's a well thought 0ver, rather emotinal response. The points you have made: like suicide being a personal decisi0n, the absurdity which seems t0 y0u in it been labelled a 'crime' d0 n0t appear ill0gical on the surface..

But let me tell you one thing, when I interviewed Ms Anju Sheth of SAATH in 2004, the 0ne p0int she repeated frequently was that a maj0rity of suicide cases are a sheer act of impluse.. there's this crucial period less than half an hour t0 ten minutes when the person l0ses all h0pes, sinks int0 depression and gives up 0n life rand0mly, on impluse...

Can y0u then, justify these m0ments as th0se of astute decision making?? I think not...

Further, she went 0n to say that it is in this crucial period that he/she needs help.. A simple talk, a phonecall, just about anything that takes his mind away from the depressing thoughts can make him pull along...

I would be the last person to take a judgemental stand and say pe0ple wh0 c0mmit suicides are c0wards... H0wever, at the same time, I firmly believe that suicides are not a decent way 0f paying a tribute t0 the life we have g0t...And last of all, t0 call a justifiable decision, however pers0nal it might be...

I w0uld feel bad f0r th0se wh0 take the drastic step 0nly because 0f the extent 0f life they readily all0wed t0 g0 waste on mere assumpti0ns...

It is perhaps through writing and speaking more ab0ut such things that we can do our bid: to let s0me ann0nym0us people kn0w, as i put it, that n0thing is never the end.. and that s00ner or later, life really rules...

Keep writing, keep reading and yes! keep living!!! in the true sense 0f the w0rd :)

PS pl bear with the '0's, the key is giving me trouble...

Why suicide....

It was with utter shock and sadness today that I took the news of a college senior who committed suicide ... We could be passed as friends, a little more than acquaintances definitely.. The little moments I remember of having spent together are full of the most silly PJs and lots and lots of carefree laughter...
The smiling face refuses to fade, the happy tone... O it's so shocking...

Why??? What sort of moment it would be when a lively youth is so depressed to shed away the urge of giving in to the utter ecstacy of life? I only hope and request that if anyone comes to such a desperate point of misfortune, simply hang on... Somewhere there, beyond your knowledge, would definitely be someone who thinks of you and would be more than willing to listen out... Just hang on...

Here's a number in Ahmedabad, a suicide helpline service which simply talks to people on the verge of commiting suicide...
SAATH- 079 26305544

I wrote an article in Education Times, Ahmedabad when the high rates of suicides after (or before the board exams) shocked and saddened me greatly. I reproduce the same below....

Desperate Measures

You do not get a life to give it up…


After having done with the board exams, when all students are enjoying their summer vacation, a few individuals who gave up too easily to the mounting exam pressure, now linger as a distant, painful memory. With the rate of suicides committed by young students rising to alarming levels in the city, it’s time to deal with this sudden social upheaval urgently. The hype created by the competition crazy and mark maniac exam system may shake the students, however, they should understand that no ‘reason’ cannot be a reason enough to give up on life.


Disturbed by the alarming rates of suicide cases in the city, Mrs. Anju Sheth established SAATH in 1998. SAATH is an NGO, which provides support and counsel to people with suicidal thoughts. Anju Sheth opines that majority of suicides by the youth are a result of impulsive behavior triggered by loneliness, lack of support or the complete loss of hope. Hence, it’s extremely important to patiently listen to whatever your child, friend or student, without being judgmental. SAATH functions by ‘Listening Therapy’ wherein trained volunteers lend a patient ear to the caller. Many a times, the conversation is active on the callers’ side and passive on the listener’s side. Sometimes, if a person with depressing/suicidal thoughts simply gets to vent off the pent up feelings, he might get a reason enough to think on positive lines and give up suicidal thoughts.


Petrified by the fear of consequences following a failure and lack of awareness, students fail to see many different career choices available, many students and parents give up too easily and fall prey to dejection, opines Nimrat Singh, a career counselor.

Dr. Khushnuma Banaji, a professor of Psychology in St. Xavier’s College opines that there’s no knowing when the threshold levels of stress may be crossed. Many a times, very good students find it difficult to accept that they are unable to cope up. They live in state of turmoil, and fake up normal behavior to live up to the façade of being a bright student. Her colleague, Prof. Ami Mehra informs that some tell tale signs like the lack of eye contact while talking, the unwillingness to carry on discussions, sudden irritation, restlessness or a slouching body posture, if noticed, should not be ignored.

Friends, who spend a lot of time with the concerned person, can easily detect such signs. Hence a huge responsibility lies on the peers to listen to their friend’s fears, provide a firm support and work towards sensible solutions. If dealt understandingly by peers, they can also be convinced to share their feelings with parents as well as to see a professional counselor.

It is unfortunate that depression, which is perhaps as normal an illness as common cold is wrongly perceived as a taboo and dealt with in a clandestine manner in the society. Many a times, family members try to sort such situations by themselves without seeking the help of counselors or psychiatrists.

Mrs. Anju Sheth (SAATH) opines that sometimes, medical assistance becomes necessary. There is a need of increasing the awareness that to seek the help of a counselor is only another way of taking care of yourself, which no one has a right to look down upon.


Rita Shah*, who gave her 12th Arts exam this year misses her close friend who committed suicide a few months back. All she can say about her friend’s drastic decision is that there was no reason for her to escape away like this…

Life is beautiful and sooner or later people agree on this fact.


* Name changed

In case someone shows suicidal tendancies

DO NOT
Negate the feelings expressed
Mock/ridicule whatever is said
Avoid stereotype assurances
Emphasize on the shortcomings
Attach excessive importance to passing/good marks


DO
Listen patiently
Encourage positive thoughts
Encourage meditation
Indulge in recreational activities, hobbies
Sign in a different short-term classes- language, public speaking, etc.
Be vocal about your feelings
Generate alternate career options
Get medical assistance/counseling if required

SAATH-079 26305544


- Gauri V. Gharpure

I am tired of Radio Mirchi... Vividh Bharati rules!!!

It was sometime during my jewellery making spells that I started getting majorly irritated of Radio Mirchi... The RJs are always hyper active, hyper excited, hyper happy, hyper artificial... Perhaps they are groomed to appear 'bubbly', 'youthful' and 'fresh' 24 7, but they have been grossly overdoing their acts of late...

It was also during the same spell of gritting my teeth everytime an RJ went overboard in his/her hyper spells, that I started tuning in to Vividh Bharati. Vividh Bharati is accused of being stagnant, of being operating by the same rulebook that it was initiated with: more weightage to classical music, followed by old hindi film songs.

Vividh Bharati, I discovered is quite efficiently living up to the 'image'. And due to this very image, it will definitely stand out with its own loyal and huge fan following in future. More predictably, almost all media are populated by the hyper active communication style which has become fashionable today and so will be the radio. But sooner or later, people will grow tired of the induced excitement and constant chatter, of the forced vivaciousness and high pitched action based information. They will want something sober, something more balanced.

The best thing about the simplicity of Vividh Bharati is that you can indeed keep the radio as a 'background' compnanion and proceed about your chores without distraction. The music is soft, the presentators calm and composed. The melody as well the the presentation does not interefere with your work. The 'rjs' here dont order you about in the shrill screams and hyper urgings to go see the latest movie, and dont play some horrible, far fectched jingles idolising anyone from filmstars to sportsmen. Talking about idolising, I was pissed off beyond the levels of my tolerance on hearing a jingle sounding like a garba aarti, which sang praise of Indian cricketor Sreesanth after his performance in a match against South Africa... Outright ridiculous!...

Vividh Bharati offers its listeners a well planned schedule. The variety of the contents took me by a pleasant surprise. The simplicity of presentation was something I was to eager to welcome. I remember listening to A K Hangal's radio interview one quiet night about a month back. I shall be indebted to some anonymous team at the radio station who put the programme together to bring to us A K Hangal's old shaky voice, the nostalgia of past evident from the highs and lows of his talks, the emotions and the pieces of history saved for ever thanks to an excellent interview on the radio waves.

Sometime in the morning the presentators (Mahindra and Mamta Singh)were reading letters sent by Vividh Bharati listeners from far away corners of the country. One listener said of taking help from someone to write the letter and walking a distance of twelve kilometers just to post it. Her indigience when she complained that her letters were not read up was justified. I listened to old Hindi film songs coupled with information about the composers, the lyricists, programmes giving information about some famous music directors, lyricists, film makers. A slot for instrumental music in the afternoon, a programme for youth, small plays... Vividh Bharati...O! I am fascinated...

New Year's Eve


I walk along the familiar paths

As some friendly hopes give me company,

Little regrets wander along

And few desires go out of sight,

arguing with the future...

Carefree laughter still echoes

The difference those kind words made, shows.

A few more events add to the memories

I'll fondly look back to...

As time ticks unhurried, I walk along-

On this New Year's Eve.

-Gauri G